Last Night at my cousin's stagette, we ended up at Ceasar's Exotic Sports Bar on the Danforth, just east of Victoria Park.

I had never been to see a live striptease before and certainly didn't know what to expect from a male striptease. My previous live experiences were limited to a Burlesque Vaudeville-ish show care of Les Coquettes who were quite entertaining. Then there were rumors floating around about the questionable artistic practices on stage at Remington's Ladies Night and most of talk show television reinforced that most male striptease involved numerous pelvic thrusting.

Still, I wanted to make the judgement with my own eyes. And boy did I get an eye full.

Considering it was a slow night, the bride-to-be got a handful and a face full of interaction with the gentlemen at Ceasar's. About 3 lapdances and several coerced on-stage performances later, the bride was ready to Kill someone.

Out of the 5 performances we sat through only 2 had enough rhythm to keep us from laughing. Out of the 2, only one really put on a good show. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Cyrus: the Army man who has my permission to invade my country should he wish. However, it would be the girl celebrating her 19th Birthday who started dancing on-stage during the break in the show who I wanted to tip.

Women, in these cases, are encouraged to touch and participate, some even go to such lengths as getting on stage to be humped by the naked performer. It's a very interactive venue.

Sure, it's all in good campy fun and I understand its appeal, especially if you've had one too many shots. Though I would be hard pressed to become aroused in a sober state. I mean, it's one thing to be man-handled by someone you're attracted to. It's an entirely other ballgame to be man-handled by someone you don't find attractive or appealling.

Still, thanks to the entertaining time I had a Ceasar's, I've lost my voice from all the hollering but mostly laughing all through the evening at the expense of my cousin. But when it comes right down to it, I would've rather seen women striptease than the men. Anyone wanna buy me a lap dance?

Ceasar's Exotic Sports Bar - 3313 Danforth, east of Victoria Park. There is ample parking in the back. $10 cover - $10 for table dances