There’s something to be said for these “luxury” apartments that are really just one step away from being unlivable. As the crass saying goes: “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”.

Sure, the kitchen has sleek cabinets, the bathroom has sparkly white tiles, and there's laminate hardwood floor, but at the end of the day this place is only 250-square-feet. And, it’s the most awkwardly shaped 250-square-feet an apartment can be! 

I think it’s in the shape of a trapezoid, but honestly my grade school geometry recollection is too weak to truly figure it out. It looks a little closer to a rhombus, even. Either way, good luck trying to put furniture in this nightmare of a layout.

And maybe this place isn’t so bad if you don’t really need to live in it and your day salary is probably equal to what most people make in a month.

These apartments are for people who work 80-hour weeks and spend a total of four hours sleeping and maybe take a 10-minute shower, unless they go to SoulCycle that morning, before they leave for the office again.

Obviously, I’m making sweeping stereotypical assumptions about people who live the ‘King West’ lifestyle but if that’s the kind of lifestyle you lead then yes, $1,900 for this glorified storage locker is fine. 

But, for anyone who actually lives in their apartment, this overpriced hotel room isn’t going to cut it. And maybe that's why the listing says it's never been lived in before... 

Seriously, where are you going to cook. The fancy hot plate? And yes, I am calling it a hot plate because the fact that it’s in the counter doesn’t make it a stove. It’s a hot plate, let’s not kid ourselves. Also that sink won’t even fit a full size fry pan. So have fun doing dishes in the shower.

But, what bothers me more than the dumb layout and the tiny sink is that this place—which can barely fit a double bed and a night stand—is $1,900. If this becomes the norm, what will your landlord think your place is worth when it actually has a bedroom separate from the kitchen?

Is this why rent in Toronto is skyrocketing? Because people willingly pay for this garbage? For the sake of all of us who want to keep our rent reasonable, don’t rent this place.

Also why does the door look like it has been gift wrapped? Just curious.

Specs

• Address: #616E – 576 Front St. W
• Type: Studio
• Rent: $1,900/ month
• Furnished? No
• Utilities: No
• Air conditioning? No
• Bedrooms: 0
• Bathrooms: 1
• Parking: No
• Laundry? Yes
• Outdoor space? Juliette balcony ... so no.
• Pet friendly? No info but unlikely

Good For

Storing your clothes. Let’s be honest, this place is really just a closet with a bathroom. You can’t actually live here.

Move On If

You want to do more in your apartment than sleep.