Okay if you just read the listing you’d think this place was okay. It’s a furnished walk-out basement apartment with utilities included. Internet is also included, and it’s not in the middle of nowhere.

There are new kitchen appliances; no oven, but what looks like a new stove top and microwave.

The bed may be behind a flimsy room divider but it has a new mattress. And as someone who has had to sleep on a mattress that has questionable stains, this fact alone would make me actually consider renting this place.  

But then, you look at the pictures and realize nothing is okay.

I know I’ve ragged on the baby-puke beige almost every rental in Toronto is painted in, but this, this is bad too. This purple and yellow is absolutely not for me.

The colour scheme is more suited to a child’s playroom than a bachelor apartment. I’m pretty sure a four-year-old picked out these colours because I have a hard time imagining an adult choosing this.

WHY IS IT SO PURPLE? They even painted the radiator purple! 

Also, because half the apartment is light yellow and the other half is the purple, the archways end up creating this horrible optical illusion that is giving me anxiety.

Lastly, I’m just slightly concerned about the stability of this particular house. I mean how many supporting beams does one need in a room?

Apparently this one needs six. Seems like overkill, but then again I’m not Bob the Builder so I don’t really know how these things work.

Specs

• Address: 52 Alberta Avenue
• Type: Basement (obviously)
• Rent:$1,250/ month
• Furnished? Yes
• Utilities: Yes
• Air conditioning? I think so… there looks like there’s a unit on a wall.
• Bedrooms: Foldable room divider  
• Bathrooms: 1
• Parking: No
• Laundry? No  
• Outdoor space? No
• Pet friendly? No

Good For

A Disney Princess theme party? That’s literally the only thing I can imagine happening in this space.

Move On If

The colour scheme makes you queasy.