I dare you to look at this apartment and not twitch with annoyance. Can you see it? Can you see what is making my entire body break out in hives?

YES, yes it IS the tiles! This floor will haunt me in my sleep. Just think about the sound of your bed screeching across the tile floor every time you shift in your sleep. Eeeeerrrchhh, eeeerrcchhh, eeeurrcchh, klumph.

(That last sound is your bed running into the wall after it’s scraped across the entire apartment).

As grim as that mental picture is, it isn’t even really what’s causing my full body rash.

First of all the tiles don’t even match. The room is divided into two sets of almost but not-quite-the-same kind of tile. It’s similar enough that at first glance you think maybe, just maybe you could live with it. Yeah, you think, it wouldn’t be too bad. No, really it could be okay, you'll just put down a rug and solve two problems with one.

But then every day you’d wake up and look across your apartment and be immediately enraged because you’d have to carpet the entire room to fix this mess.

Why? Because the stupid tiles don’t even line up! On one half of the room they’re all in a perfect row and then BAM zigzag! I’m so, so sorry anyone with OCD.

I know how painful this must be for you to look at. I know you want to gauge your eyeballs out right now. Just look away. Shhh it’s okay, just look away.

And as annoying as the tile are, the other thing that makes me want to punch a wall is the fact that the washer and dryer are miles apart. Has the person who set this up ever done laundry? 

Finally, can we take a minute to talk about why there are not one, but two drains in the middle of the floor? Does this place flood so often you need immediate drainage? 

Specs

• Address: #BSMNT– 1080 Dupont Street
• Type: Basement apartment
• Rent: $1,500/ month
• Furnished? No
• Utilities: Included
• Air conditioning? Yes
• Bedrooms: 1  
• Bathrooms: 1
• Parking: No
• Laundry? In-unit
• Outdoor space? No
• Pet friendly? Yes (also potential victims could be considered pets too)

Good For

People who don't mind carrying their wet, sopping laundry across their apartment to the dryer.

Move On If

Eeeeerrrchhh, eeeerrcchhh, eeeurrcchh, klumph.