Free events in Toronto this week won't land you any means of production to take back your life from the people to whom it means so, so little, but they will allow you to meander TIFF's free street festival from September 4-7. Star gazing and lifestyle envy are free as well (warning: actual stalking can land you in financial hot water with the law).

If you're a broke film buff, be sure to scour the TIFF schedules for free screenings, and look online for people selling ticket packages for cheap (beware of scammers). Just kidding - you can't afford a day off work to stand in line.

From Lizzie Borden to Homer Simpson, here's how to live la vida no dinero in Toronto this week.

MONDAY

• Born in Flames 1983 - Lizzie Borden WILD WOMEN WITH STEAK KNIVES #1 Feminist Film Screening Series (Videofag)

TUESDAY

• Bookie's Nu Music Night w/ Bam Thwok (Horseshoe Tavern)
• Gladstone TV Trivia Night: Golden Girls (Gladstone)
• FOUNTAIN ABBEY: BACK TO S"COOL" (Fountain)
• Why Can't Minimal. Opening Reception (Justina M. Barnicke Gallery)

WEDNESDAY

• Tell Me Something Good: Sexy Storytelling - Hot For Teacher: Back to School (Gladstone)
• Free Yoga (Canary District)
• Viewpoints: QWAC Artists of Distinction (Artscape Youngplace)
• QUEER CAB - Buddies' Queer Youth Open Mic Night (Buddies In Bad Times Theatre)

THURSDAY

• TIFF Festival Street (350 King Street West)
• Food Fighters Screening at The Farm Lot [RSVP] (The Farm Lot)
• Free Adult Ballet and Yoga Classes (The Sony Centre)
• Movie Night at Free People Toronto (Free People)
• HOMER'S ODYSSEY: a Simpsons art show (Videofag)
• DJ Breezes n' Gloctor Glock, Brigitte Bardon't, TBA (Holy Oak)

FRIDAY

• Toronto's 30th Vegetarian Festival (Harbourfront)
• KANDLE // FAST ROMANTICS: Free Show (Yonge-Dundas Square)

SATURDAY

• PATIO Inc Launch Party @ Wine Club [RSVP + Must bring bottle of wine] (MakeWorks)
• PAY DAY 4TH ANNIVERSARY! [Before 11pm] (Parts & Labour)
• Really Really Free Market (West End Campbell Park)
• The High Park Reading Festival (High Park)
• Geek Swap (Back Space)
• Bloorcourt Arts and Crafts Fair (Bloor from Dufferin - Montrose)

SUNDAY

• Wavelength Island Show (Toronto Island)
• Geek Boutique (Back Space)
• Fall Popcorn Tasting (Toronto Popcorn Company)
• Brains, Words & Voices - Toronto's only monthly poetry recitation contest (109 Niagara)
• Nite Comfort 12 (Handlebar)

Also check out these regular free events

• Elvis Mondays at the Drake
• Foosball Battle Royale, Monday, Disgraceland
• Art Gallery of Ontario free evening, Wednesday, 6-8:30pm.
• IFOA Weekly, free for supporters, students, & youth under 26, Wednesday, Harbourfront Centre
• Skin of My Nuts Comedy Show, Thursday, Sonic Espresso Bar
• Canadian Opera Company's Free Concerts series
• While nearly all art galleries in the city are free to enter, it's worth noting The Museum of Contemporary Canadian Art (MOCCA) is always PWYC.
• The ROM (Royal Ontario Museum) offers discounted tickets on Fridays ($10).

Do you want everyone to know about your kinda random free or pay-what-you-can event? Submit it to our event section. (You can also submit your for-money events here, greedy-pants.)