What's worse: a hypocritcal NIMBY or a rude, anonymous NIMFY? Toronto has plenty of the former, but not much to date has been reported on people who say "not in my front yard" (and think they actually have the right to enforce that wish).

A resident of northwest Toronto has shared one of the best examples of a passive aggressive — and straight up delusional — windshield note most of us have seen in years.

"This note was under my windshield wiper this morning when I got in my car. Potentially the most gutless letter I've ever read," wrote Sam McKee when publishing an image of the letter via Twitter on Thursday, noting that he pays for a permit and that his car is parked per the city's own instructions. 

Addressed to "Jane St. and other street residents" from "Residents of Humberview/Humber Trail," the letter effectively tells people who don't live on Humberview Road to stop parking on that particular street, which is comprised mostly of large, single-family homes.

This note was under my windshield wiper this morning when I got in my car. Potentially the most gutless letter I’ve ever read. A couple notes: Alie and I pay for a permit, we have no parking at our place, the car is where the city instructed us to park. Just nuts! @cityoftoronto pic.twitter.com/8mc0LnVt5G

— Sam McKee (@SamAMcKee) July 22, 2021

"Although the new parking regime allows Permit Holders to park on any street, we have clearly witnessed abuse of this privilege. In many cases, the residents of other streets have left their vehicle for up to a week or more or have kept a space on their own street by parking on ours," it reads.

The letter's anonymous author laments that residents of Humberview "who have lived here for 20-30 years" have "had to sometimes park on Jane St., where some of the abusers actually live."

The horror!

And then it gets personal, stating to the letter's recipient that they "have been identified as one of the regular vehicles parking in our area."

"Please attempt to park where you live as much as possible. You have been disrupting permitholders on both our streets for some time now. When you take space on Humberview, residents are forced onto Humber Trail or vice-versa and even to Jane St. when neither street has space. It's a domino effect," the note continutes.

"There's plenty of space on Jane — and unlike our streets — both sides. If you need to park on our streets away from rush hour please move your car back immediately after rush hour is over. Why should we be inconvenienced?"

The words "immediately," "both sides" and "we" are all underlined and bolded, sending extra bitchy vibes.

I'm imaging a Zoom committee working on a Google doc together, and now I can't stop laughing.

— Gaius Pacificus (@GPacificus) July 23, 2021

Anyone with a car can tell you that street parking is competitive in Toronto, even outside the downtown core in neighbourhoods where driveways are scarce and front-lawn parking pads are strictly forbidden.

Fortunately for those who live in areas where street parking is the only option, on-street parking permits are available (for a fee) to eligible drivers.

These permits allow local residents to "park their automobile on the street within a specified area exclusively during permit parking hours," according to the City of Toronto.

In residential areas where driveways and/or garages are not common, this usually equates to 24/7 street parking access for one family vehicle (or more if you're willing to pay exponentially more cash for each vehicle permit).

The anonymous author of the note shared by McKee contends that there was once a "three-house rule," meaning that people couldn't park more than three houses away from where they live.

It is not clear who made or enforced those rules, but the City of Toronto allows all on-street permit holders to park anywhere within a specific "zone" — spots are not designated and are available on a first come, first served basis.

Totally agree! Our neighbour in Vancouver calls every time guests or our tenant park in front of their house….it is a non permit street and she goes nuts if anybody parks in “her” spot - but in her garage…not a car parked… a home gym……🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

— Suzanna (@AssuntaVanCity) July 23, 2021

"In area-based permit parking, residents may park on any licenced street within their permit area, but are not guaranteed a parking space on their specific street," reads the city's website.

"Area-based permit parking provides greater flexibility by enabling permit holders to park not only on their licenced street but on other licenced streets within their area should space not be available on the street where they live."

The area of Jane Street near Humberview Road appears to be in the same zone, making it perfectly legal for people to park between both streets, but whoever wrote the letter thinks that residents on the latter street (who they say have had on-street permits for an average of 15 to 30 years) should have first dibs in front of their own homes.

"You can't be surprised at our animosity when we are forced elsewhere because of your cavalier attitude," the letter concludes. "If you park here, at least one long-time resident is peeved at you and often, more than one!"

The author says that peeved Baby Point residents are currently in the process of filling a petition to ask the city to "initiate enforcement" of their desired rules. Lol.