House of the week: 5 Hawthorn Gardens

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5 Hawthorn Gardens is a dream home -- particularly as it's staged for sale. Despite its nearly $16 million asking price, one doubts that its future owner will be able to match the artistic pomp that's on display as this Rosedale residence goes to market. Look carefully at the photos below and you'll see the work of Diane Arbus, Bernd and Hilla Becher, and a host of other big name photographers beside collections of ceramics carefully sealed away in display cases around the home. And that's not to mention the library, which is Disney-esque in its grandeur and beauty.

Up for sale by art collector-cum-artist Ydessa Hendeles, the fantasy-like quality isn't lost on whoever's writing copy for the realtor. The brief description of the house -- which is written in all caps, no less -- lays it on about as thick as it comes. "Like The Slipper On Cinderella's Foot, The Home Perfectly Embraces Its Magical Ravine Setting. 5 Hawthorn Gardens Has Been Transformed Into A Singular Piece Of Great Art."

But, hey, when a place is this nice, who can really take fault with a little typographical enthusiasm? While it lacks an in-house pool or bowling alley as you might find on the Bridle Path, the ravine views, lush wood, and adorned ceilings speak to the architectural pedigree of the Eustace G. Bird-designed 1911 home.

SPECS

Address: 5 Hawthorn Gardens
Price: $15,900,000
Lot Size: 100 x 287 Feet
Bedrooms: 4
Bathrooms: 7
Taxes: $55,520.38 (2013)
Walk Score: 68

NOTABLE FEATURES

Ravine lot
6 parking spaces
Fireplaces
Two gas ranges
Library fit for a game of Clue
Nicest ceilings in the city

GOOD FOR

Hermits. Move in here and you'll never leave. On the bright side, the library is a wonderful place to read, and the kitchen demands live-in help, so you'll never actually be alone. At the risk of poor taste, this would be a good place to die.

MOVE ON IF

Theft worries you. Make sure to keep a little cash on hand for a quality alarm system because posts likes this are total heat scores (sorry, Ms. Hendeles). More seriously (but what's the point in that?), you might skip this absolutely gorgeous home if you think $16 million warrants more than four bedrooms. That would make you a philistine, but whatever -- it's your money.

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