Sarah Thomson is once again running for Toronto mayor. I'm quite sure this isn't news for those of us not intimately tied to the local political scene. At the end of the day, the publisher of the Women's Post is unlikely to figure as anything more than a fringe candidate. And yet there's something about Thomson's platform that's already too entertaining to pass up. Aside from the press release announcing her candidacy, her first bit of campaigning comes in the form of a poem. Yes, a poem with an AABB rhyme scheme, which with the wit of Pope and the gravity of Milton takes on the issue of subway infrastructure in Toronto.

"Stop and go. Stop and go
I want a city with transit below
I want a city with underground trains,
Light rail or subway, they're almost the same.
I want a city that is filled with a passion
to dream of a future not cramped by inaction."

This thing reads like white rap on the sitcoms of the 1990s. I want so desperately to make fun of the entire thing, but there's really no need. As is the case with Rob Ford segments on the late night talk shows, the less one gets in the way, the funnier it is.

"It's hitting all cities from Dallas to Kent
the rich who come in are increasing the rent
It's time to say yes to those who suggest
Toronto is better, when we all just invest.
It's hard to predict the needs that arise
it's hard to have vision and keep the same stride."

Kent? I know you want "rent" in there, but Kent? Ok, shhhh.

"It's hard to determine the truth from the lie
And easy to blame it all on "that guy"
We must come together, unite in one stand
To build underground transit for each woman and man
The cost is gigantic, but the payoff is double
And the jobs it will bring are more than a bubble."

Read the whole thing here.

And, remember, "it's time to ignore the ones who provide / a short-term perspective on how we must ride," lest we abandon our children to hell (that's swell).

More poems, please.

Update: (1:00am)

In her official campaign launch video, Thomson points out that "if a cat were big enough, it would eat you."