I know you don't want to hear this, but it's February 2nd and you have precious little time left to find the perfect Valentine's gift. And yes, even if that special he or she says they don't want anything this year, you still have to do something... or risk catastrophic results. It's a proven fact.

Now, while Shoppers Drug Mart and Dollarama may be fine for picking up those chalky-but-essential candy hearts at bargain prices, you are not likely to be around next year if that's the only stop you make on your search. Don't get me wrong here, I certainly do not want to encourage the materialistic b.s. this holiday has become, but there is one option this year I think just might appease both sides:

Fado Performance Valentine-Oh-Grams...

Fado is a Toronto artist-run centre for performance art and they are offering Valentine-Oh-Grams, delivered anywhere in the GTA (home, work, cafe, wherever) - night or day - for only $50 each! ($40 if ordered before the 10th)

From what I understand, every live Valentine-Oh-Gram comes with an appearance by the Giant Heart Mascot (someone, please take a picture!), an assortment of chocolate treats and the option to include a personalized message.

Option? Why yes... 'cause you can send an anonymous one if you like! Ooo...

(Anyone need my address?)

The performances are delivered only on Valentine's day, so booking early is probably the best way to go to ensure the perfect appointment.

Lastly, just to make things even easier for you, I've included their list of Valentine-Oh-Gram options below. Enjoy.

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The "You Complete Me" Valentine-Oh-Gram
Choose a classic film script (Casablanca, Love Story or Say Anything), and our team of performance artists will reenact for the receiver a heart wrenching classic scene that would make Bogart swoon.
Ok, maybe not Bogart, but John Cusack for sure.

The Love Me Tender Harmonica Band Valentine-Oh-Gram
Nothing sweeter than a 10-piece harmonica band serenading your love from the front porch.
We only know one song, but it's a tear-jerker. Comes with a hot chocolate!

The Display of Affection Valentine-Oh-Gram
Part dance, part poetry, all posing. Let us show your beloved that "You-Love-Them-This-Much" with our cheerleading maneuvers, delivered performance art style. Comes with a Loves Me, Love Me Not conceptual bouquet.

The Surprise Option Valentine-Oh-Gram
For the lover with a wild streak, or choose this one for yourself!
When the Valentine-Oh-Gram team arrives, your performance is determined by random draw.
Your Valentine will choose from the hat, nothing wrong about that!

The Design Your Own Valentine-Oh-Gram
For the lover who doesn't like to take chances...contact us with your idea
and we will deliver a Valentine-Oh-Gram created from your specifications.

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Adorable photo courtesy of Gabe Toth in the blogTO flickr group.